One Family Day
by Tsunade-chan
Summary: AU: What if Ed and Al were really Roy and Riza's kids? Just imagine all the mayhem that they'd cause in just one day of being 5 and 6 year olds! For more insane humor read it's sequel: Advetures of a Mustang.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the drawing, but I own the whole craziness that I put them in!**

Firstly I'd like you guys to know something it's a complete "what if" story so automatically making it a AU. Secondly I wrote this munching on Strawberry Pocky and Sunflower Seeds, while listening to Queen. So I was a bit loopy, heck I'm always loopy! But most importantly this story was insiperd by three things:

1. The way Roy and Riza take care of Ed and Al in the manga/show is parent like.  
2. A lovely SasuHina fic written by **luvdaggers**, where Tsunade turns Naruto into a three-year-old thinking his parents are Sasuke and Hinata and kept saying "I'm Uchiha Naruto and I'm going to be the next Hokage" I seriously couldn't stop laughing, I automatically thought: "I'm Edward Mustang and I'm going to be the youngest state alchemist!"  
3.A fanart unfortunatly I don't have the artists name, but if you'd like to veiw it go here without the spaces: http / img. photobucket .com/ albums/ v459/ Narutogirl/ family.jpg

Anyway on with the story...

* * *

Roy Mustang slowly opened his eyes, propped himself on his pillow, sleepily gazed outside, after being blinded by the light slid down off the pillow and under the covers once more. 

"Roy? Honey are you awake?" was heard from the other side of the covers. He merely moaned and his wife peeked her head underneath the covers and began to gaze at his sleeping form. Feeling slightly chilly Roy grabbed the covers from her hand and pulled them over his head as he rolled over. She then narrowed her eyes into a death glare.

"Roy!" she shrilled ripping the covers off of his body exposing his t-shirt/boxers covered form, "you fully well know that we have to do today!"

Roy merely curled up into a ball trying to keep the warmth of the covers. His wife sighed, "If you don't want to go the militaries 'family day' it's fine by me, but I just don't know how I'll break it to everyone at work on Monday, sorry we couldn't come, it's because Roy was being his normal lazy ass self."

"Why me? Why not one of the boys? Oh! And it's Mustang-Taisa at work"

Riza glared not caring about the last part, "Because you're the one that's to lazy to get out of bed! Even Edward is bouncing about."

Roy groaned again, "Alright, alright I'll get up, but you _owe_ me one."

"You Roy Mustang you are one very troublesome man." She said crossing her arms over her chest, causing Roy to look there. He grinned evilly.

"And you Riza Mustang are one very seductive woman." he said pulling her into his arms and began kissing her as his hands found the hem of her skirt and began pushing it up, exposing her thigh. Their scene was interrupted by a "nayow!" from under the bed. There lips parted and Roy asked, "Riza in your venture of this house did you find Alphonse anywhere?" she shook her head and the two adults peered at what was under the bed. There laying under the bed, amongst the extra shoes and lost socks was a little short light-blonde haired boy in blue striped pajamas, cuddle up with a bright orange Persian cat whom was now awake, and began to nuzzle it's master in the cheek. The little boy slowly awoke to its calls.

"Enshoku?" the little boy replied sleepily. The cat mimicked moving out from under the bed, as much as it could for being hugged tightly to a 5-year-old, but the boy only sleepily closed his eyes again.

Riza took matters in her own hands; crawling off the bed she extended her arms to the boy and called, "Alphonse-chan?" he looked at her automatically and affectionately called "Ohayou kaa-chan!" sleepily. He grabbed her extended arms and she pulled him out from under the bed to sit in her lap.

"Alphonse-chan you silly goof what were you doing under our bed?" she gestured to Roy still lying on the bed. The little boy merely waved to his father, who in turn waved back.

"Well Enshoku," he started trying to fight a yawn, "had to go to the bathroom and I got scared when she didn't come back and so I went to look for her and she was under your bed and-and-" the yawn defeated him and she ruffled his hair.

"I get it." He glanced up at her with a _I'm sorry_ look, "don't be. Now you go get dressed, we have a big day today don't we?" he smiled and nodded and ran out of the room still cradling the cat in his arms.

"That cat's everything to him." Roy smiled.

"You try taking it away from him when he needs a bath." Riza frowned.

-----

Six-year-old Edward Mustang a golden eyed/haired boy silently crept into the kitchen. He was heading toward the island in the middle of the kitchen, which held his mothers famous cookies. Then he stepped on something fuzzy. Looking down he found a still sleeping Black Hayate. "Safe!" he mumbled. He looked up to find he was in close proximity to the cookies, reaching upwards his fingertips brushed the cookie on the top. He took a step closer, "jackpot!" he mumbled, as he finally got a grasp on one of the cookies.

"EDWARD NEIL MUSTANG!" he heard his mother yell, "YOU DARE TO TOUCH ONE OF THOSE COOKIES, PEPARE TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!" She stood at the entrance of the kitchen glaring at him. Ed swiftly placed his hand (and cookie) in the pocket of his cargo shorts as if nothing happened.

At that moment Al decided to come bounding down the stairs two at a time, with Roy in suit yelling, "Alphonse you get back here, and put that cat down! You know perfectly well why we can't take her with us."

"No! Enshoku has to come with us! I can't just leave her here all by herself." Roy sighed and looked at Riza for some sympathy but she had her death glare fixed on Edward. So they decided to switch places.

"Edward what did you do now?" Roy said exasperated, as a hint to Riza he gave up on reasoning with Alphonse. She walked out of the room and Edward look innocently at his father.

"Cookie." he said pointing to the plate.

Roy sighed, "What did I tell you before?"

"Don't touch them when she's in the house, unless she's asleep, because she'll hear you no matter what." Ed sighed repeating the words.

"Good boy."

"Roy!" Riza said glaring at him, now holding a sniffling Al.

Roy chose to ignore it, "My, my, look at the time." He said point to the clock on the wall.

Riza glared again, as Roy swiftly made his way across the room to her, extending his arm to unclip her hair, "Hair down today. You're less intimidating that way."

------

"Kaa-chan?" lil Al said looking out the window in the back seat.

"Yes dear?" Riza said looking into the rearview mirror to see him.

"Why doesn't otou-chan drive?"

"That's simple. It's because your otou-san is useless." Al and Ed began to giggle. Roy shot her a glare.

"That was uncalled for! It's not even raining." Roy sulked.

"What? You know it's true." More giggles came from the backseat.

-------

"Kaa-chan." Edward said as she helped the little boy out of the backseat of the car.

"What dear?" she said as she helped his feet touch the ground.

"Were are we again?"

"Were going to a 'family day' that's being put on for employees where kaa-chan and otou-chan work."

"Oh!" Edward said making his mouth go to an "O" size.

"More like showing them off—YOW! What was that for!" Roy complained and was injured when Riza stepped on his foot. He gave her a questioning look, but she just glared.

The two kids lifted and eyebrow at their parents sighed and then decided it was one of _those_ moments.

"Roy! Shoulders!" Edward called out lifting his stubby arms in the air.

Roy sighed, "Edward your nearly seven." Ed glared at his father, Roy groaned and then put the boy on his shoulders.

"Up!" Al called to his mother who immediately picked him up allowing him to sit in comfort on her hip and the family went to join the party.

"My Taisa, they've grown." A familiar face said, "Granted I've only seen them in pictures."

"I'm not Hughes!" Roy said defensively. Riza sighed.

Ed lifted his eyebrow, "Who are you?" he said pointing at the blonde haired man talking to his parents.

"Shoui Jean Havoc, I work with your Otou-san and Kaa-san." The man extended his hand to Edward.

Edward shook it, "Edward Mustang, and I am going to be the youngest state alchemist."

"Now really? What second name would you like?"

"Fullmetal."

"Why? It sounds as a heavy name to carry."

"I'll prove them wrong, I'll become one when I'm young and to show them that alchemy isn't just for adults." Everyone went wide-eyed at Edward's statement, to think a six-year-old would think so strongly about something, "Right Al? You promised me that you'd follow me." Al tightened into his mother a nodded silently.

-------

Riza sighed. Roy groaned as they watched their two boys play tag with some other children.

"I wonder if Maes will come." Riza said sighing placing her elbows on her lower thigh near the end of her skirt, her hands cupping her face.

"Of course, he jumps at any chance to show off his girls." Roy said relaxing back in his lawn chair.

"I wonder if Winry-chan is alright after what happened before."

"Of course, it merely scared her."

"I blame it all on you, you know?" she turned to look at him

Roy pouted, "Why?"

"Because who teaches a five and six year old alchemy?" Riza sighed exasperated.

"What!" Roy said defensively, "They were always asking me how I made flames, so I told them by using basic alchemy. How was I supposed to know they'd actually understand it? For there first transmutation it was well done. Who'd expected and five and six year old could do such fine workmanship? They take after their father."

"In what? Your idiocy?" Riza glared, Roy sulked.

"You know happy couples should never fight." Said a goofy voice from behind the two.

"You finally made it Hughes," Roy said not caring, " this party began to get boring with out your antics and snapshots."

"Well for your information it took a while to get _**MY** **HIMES**_ ready!" he said insulted and began to show off his two daughters, His wife smiling happily behind them. The oldest one a six-year-old Winry with sunny blonde hair pulled into a half ponytail in a red sundress and three-year-old Elysia with dark blonde hair pulled into pigtails wearing a matching sundress.

"And because they're so beautiful today I'd advise you to keep your little rascals away from _**MY** **VERY PRECIOUS** **HIMES!**_ As a matter-o-fact forever! No boy is ever going to take them away from **_ME!_**" he began to sob slightly grabbing his daughters. Everyone sweat dropped, his wife especially.

--------

"Now Alphonse-chan tell me what you want and I'll put it on a plate for you." Riza said as the little boy nodded and peeked his head to become level with the table full of food. He began to point at foods that looked very delectable.

A "nayow" was heard and Riza's eyebrow twitched. Al's hands flew to his shirt. Cupping the "thing" that was in it. Riza eyebrow twitched again as a fuzzy orange head popped out, and no doubt it was Enshoku. Al held the cat tightly and began to run. He knew what was going to happen next.

"ALPHONSE GERALD MUSTANG! YOU GET BACK HERE YOUNG MAN!" She shrilled, "You rightfully knew the consequences for your actions now accept the punishment for those actions!" she said as she was running after the boy, her speed was amazing for a woman in such a tight skirt.

Both Roy and Ed (standing side by side) sighed. Edward mumbled a, "Al you dobe." And Roy muttered, "I knew this was going to happen."

Fuery stood beside them and meekly began, "She doesn't threaten the children with her gun, does she?"

"Nope, only me." Roy said passively. Edward bit into his cookie that he stole earlier that morning. Roy glanced at Edward, recognizing it and sighed. He didn't want know what she'd do with Edward (or him for that matter for not taking the cookie away in the first place) at that moment, so he kept his mouth shut.

-------

The day ended as soon as it came and the Mustang family headed home. Riza looked into the rearview mirror to see both sleeping Al and Edward. She smiled at the adventures of the day and as Enshoku lie purring in Al's arms. She glanced to the side to find a nearly sleeping Roy. "Tired?" she asked he nodded groggily and then slipped into sleep. She grinned the Mustang men tire easily.

Twenty minutes later they arrived home she turned the car off and poke Roy in the side. Waking him from his nap.

"Roy-chan were home," she whispered in his ear and kissed him softly.

"Mmmm." He mumbled under her lips, "I could take you right here." He said as he grabbed her pulling her over to sit on top of him.

"We have to get _them_ to bed." She said pointing to the back seat.

"Oh right." He groaned.

"I'll get squirt you get cat lover." She nodded.

And they left with their respective child. Riza had a bit of trouble with carrying Alphonse and Enshoku; it was hard to keep the cat from falling.

Once inside Riza put Alphonse straight to bed, it was no use to try and get him into his PJs, when he's out he's out like a light. She kissed his forehead as she tucked him into his covers, watching Enshoku cuddle up in the crook of his neck.

From the hall she watch Roy try to get the very groggy Edward into his pajamas. Finally Roy pulled Ed's shirt on and the boy climbed into bed. Riza walked into the room.

"Goodnight Roy." He said.

"Goodnight Edward." Roy said ruffling his hair. Ed caught site of Riza and mumble, "Night Kaa-chan."

"Goodnight kawaii-san." It was what she usual said to him before he went to bed. Then she bent down to kiss his forehead. And he nodded off happily into dreamland.

The couple walked out of the room, Riza sentimentally smiled. Roy made sure the door was shut. "Now," he said seductively, " for a bit of you and me time. I don't think you realize how sexy you are looking today," he said picking her up in his arms, giving her a wink.

"Roy I thought you-"

"Come on Babe, you know I live at night." He said with a dirty look in his eyes, "plus the kids are in bed and sleeping."

"But-" she protested. It was useless arguing with him, well that and he pulled her into a deep kiss that she didn't really want to get out of.

"Now I'm in need of some love'n and you have everything I've be craving for." Pulling her into another kiss leading into the bedroom.

* * *

Roy has a high sex drive, chasing after his wife's skirt. Riza's motherly, but still strict as hell. Ed's bratty and Al still loving cats. I think everyone is portrayed as they are in the show/manga. Riza and Roy might be a little softer, but then that tends to come with having children at such a young age. 

Japanese lingo: I'm sure everyone is used to the other words I use, but I'd like to speak about "mother" and "father". "Otou" and "Kaa" are the first part of the word the last depends on on the honorifics you choose to add (most common "Chan", "San" and "Sama"). Why they say Kaa-chan is like saying "mommy" where as Kaa-san is like saying "mother" and same with father.

**U**seless **B**its of **I**nformation about this story/ Notes about the story

Roy carried his alchemy gloves, house/work keys, his wallet, Riza's car keys and a condom in his pockets. (XD yes he's ready for a quickie anytime)

Riza is so dedicated to getting Roy to the top that she never gave up her military career, she only went on a short maternity leave after giving birth to there sons. But she loves both boys more than they can imagine.

You know how Riza always carries two guns with her? Well in the story she only carried one on the small of her back, her skirt was to tight to hide the second, and she doesn't carry a purse.

Fraternization isn't illegal in the military only frowned upon; due to it could interfere with decision-making.

Originally Havoc had a girlfriend.

Ed and Al's middle names are made up. I just imagined Riza "whole name" yelling kinda mom.

Ed calls Roy, "Roy" because he's so used to hearing Riza yell "Roy!"

Al's cats name means "flame (colour)" a bit of a pun on the "Flame alchemist"

Maes' rant about his "Himes" was based on the same rant made by Yukino's dad in Kare Kano, but he had three daughters instead of two.

In the original fan art Winry is in the picture, but I wanted to keep the doll that Al and Ed made for her so she became Maes' daughter.

And if you like this story a lot, you maybe able to bribe me (with lots of reviews for it though) to write another story but as Al and Ed older, hummm, maybe teenage years? I have it sort of planned out, if I do write it and if it turns out to be an adventure/drama I know it's going to be about 2 or 3 chapters or it might be a silly one shot who knows?

**Edit Oct 15 2005:** The sequel is written and up! Check out their insane lives in _Adventures of a Mustang._


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